TVAA - TeleVision Addicts Anonymous
The first step is admitting it. Television addiction is no laughing matter. It becomes more than enjoying the occasional show.
Signs you suffer from television addiction:
- You spend the 26 minutes between the wash cycle and the drying process of laundry night to run back to your apartment and watch YouTube music montages of Jim and Pam.
- You can call your sister, cross reference shows using only first names, and she knows exactly what you mean as soon as you say it. Ex: “Jan is talking to Loralei!”
- More than 2 members of your immediate family, usually including a mother, are television addicts (even if they are still in denial)
- Whenever you turn on the radio, all you hear are theme songs and possible television montages.
- You don’t fantasize and plan your own wedding, you think of Jim and Pam’s.
- When other people quote Ghandi or Mother Theresa, you quote Carrie Bradshaw
- Movie quotes are so JV…you can quote television characters….and give the episode title.
- When you make yourself stop watching TV to study, you just go into your room and watch YouTube on your computer…which is pretty much still TV.
- You get personally offended when someone says they don’t like one of your favorite shows
-You don’t understand what people are talking about when they say “There’s nothing on.” - There’s ALWAYS something on.
- You consider endurance to be watching any Celebreality marathon on VH1….and you’re no quitter.
- Isn’t the point of TBS and TNT running the same movie back to back so that you can watch it twice?
- There is no such thing as “just a rerun.”
If you or someone you know exhibits any of these symptoms there is help. Please call 555-2462, but not during the hours of 9pm-10pm Mondays, 8pm-10pm Tuesdays, 9pm-10pm Wednesdays, 9:30pm-10pm Thursdays, or 4pm-6pm any weekday.
In fact, if you call during any prime time hours, the phone will go straight to voicemail. If you don’t know when prime time hours are, then why the hell are you calling this hotline?
Posted on September 19th, 2006 by Melissa
Filed under: Uncategorized
Oh my goodness. Truer words were never spoken.
There is no such thing as “just a rerun.”
Like when you yell at someone “Come watch this!!” And they’re like “I already saw that one.” So what?? You saw it in May! Don’t you know you have to get re-hyped for the season premiere?
You know you have an addiction when you tape* the season finale of The Office and as soon as it’s over you rewind it and watch it again. And someone’s like, “Didn’t we just see this?” and you’re like “Shut up!” That’s an addiction. Or maybe that’s just an Office addiction.
*tape. not TiVo or DVR, straight up VHS.
Do you think Jim and Pam will have pink and green?