Pop Culture Yay

This not a recap. It’s just a diatribe. (Hey! I get it now, Lifetime! good one) I am all kinds of worked up about this episode. My emotions ran the gamut from irritated to vociferously irritated to frickin gobsmacked. Ron, who used to make me be all blubbery and “best dad EVER except my dad, so, best reality tv dad ever,” now makes me crazy. I didn’t mind that he strategized to keep himself on the ranch, it’s that he was all “this hurts me more than it hurts you…for me to kick you off” about it. I couldn’t abide the way he said (in that sad “what a shame” shake-of-the-head way) “It’s Mandi’s time to go home,” like it was a foregone conclusion, like something a parent would say about a beloved guinea pig that’s about to kick the bucket. He said it like “I wish this didn’t have to be the way, but we just have to accept it, circle of life” when he was making the CHOICE to send her home to save himself! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT RON.

And Filipe. Dude. Filipe. Yes, it’s weird that Jillian didn’t work him out individually. Yes, the contestants are vulnerable and need support. But dude! Passive-aggressive much? If you want help, ask for it. Maybe you feel like you shouldn’t have to, but just man up and hash it out with her, don’t stuff a storeload of rage into your pocket so you can whip it out as an excuse after you get busted for downing seven mai tais and a double scoop of mashed potatoes or whatever. Dude.

And now I’m talking to you, Bob Harper. Come on in here and grab a Yoplait, and then we are going to Zip n’ Steam your attitude. Pete says that the producers told you to let Sione and Filipe work out with your team. I bet they did, because yeah, that prolongs the tension/fissure, but you should have said no, those cousins need to work out their issues with Jillian right now. Or at the very least you could have said, “You can work out here ONLY because you and Jillian need some time to cool off.” Instead, you said “[Undermine][undermine][hug it out].” And I expected better from you, Bob. As with the team reassignments that led to the Hysterical Bob Meltdown of ‘09, you the one making it worse last night, Bob. Bob, I love you with your tats and your yoga and your Extra gum, but you need to get your head right.

I know there’s more to say about last night’s episode but reliving those low points has been like a long, painful wall sit, so I’m calling it quits.

Posted on March 11th, 2009 by Melissa
Filed under: Vast Wasteland